DEAR MOM AND DAD

DEAR MOM & DAD,

        After all these years do I need to introduce myself?  If I
really need to: I am your child.  You have brought me into this world
and raised me what I am today.  Perhaps, yesterdays have gone too
fast that you have lost track of time. Just in case you can't see me,
I'm still here.  And I, too, am lost.  So if I am not what I should
be, please do not be too harsh with me, for I am your product, and by
my examples, I advertise the quality standard of home where I came
from. You often declare that you want to transform me, but how can I
understand when your actions don't conform to your words.  The
quality standard is not consistent. Please do not point at one of my
friends as an example of how I should behave, because by doing so you
are admitting that they are doing a better job than you.

        I have known what it was like to be all alone in the dark
before... in my mother's womb.  I thought everything would change
when I was retrieved to see the first light.  But where is light?
It's still dark inside me and around me. I am all alone.  Not just
alone in the house, but alone in my heart, in my spirit. I feel
abandoned, and it's frightening. There is a great frightening
emptiness in me. I feel like a product on the shelf.  Though standing
alone, still you can't see me. You can't because you care not to; you
just pass me by.

        I remember how you are always trying to make me over.  Why
can't I be like my cousin, or the president of the class or the
attractive teenager next door?  You seem to be more interested in my
school grades than in the condition of my soul.  You never talk about
God to me. I have to find God myself, my way.  You give me the
impression that it is better to be popular than to be pure; better to
be beautiful on the outside than to have that inner glow that comes
to one who loves the Lord.  I have been patiently waiting for you to
give me room to grow but it seems as if I'm waiting in vain.

        You say that you love me, and yet it has been years since you
put your arms around me at bedtime to comfort me.  Those precious
hugs have now become so rare, that even touching hands no longer give
warmth to our cold relationship.  I remember telling you how lonely
and confused I felt.  But you never cared to feel my feelings. What
can you say to someone who doesn't listen to the voice of a child
craving for attention, craving for love? I wish you have the answer,
not on your lips but in your heart.

         It is not always easy to say how I feel about you.  For
years I have left many of my thoughts unspoken, thinking there would
be another time, perhaps, a better time to talk, and yet time keeps
passing by.  And it makes me realize that the time is now to let you
know.  Now that I have spoken, will your heart remain silent?  To me,
your answer is as important as life itself.

        YOUR CHILD