OBITUARY FOR COMMON SENSE

OBITUARY
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common
Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old
he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are
in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well
intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing
a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after
lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only
worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were
required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but
could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion. Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the
Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and
criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense
finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a bit in her lap, and was
awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He
is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and I'm a Whiner. Not many
attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him pass this on.