SEVEN POSITIVE ATTITUDES

>The Seven Positive Attitudes

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>There are seven basic emotional needs or attitudes that are essential to
>creating a truly loving and emotionally supportive relationship: love,
>caring, understanding, respect, appreciation, acceptance, and trust.
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>All of these are present to various degrees when a person feels emotionally
>supported. Positive sentiments like fulfillment, peace, happiness,
>gratitude. satisfaction, excitement, and confidence are automatically
>generated when we are able to fulfill our primary emotional needs.
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>The Seven Positive Attitudes
>   1.. Love
>   Love is a connecting, uniting, sharing, or joining attitude. Without
>judgment or evaluation it says, "We may be different but we are also alike.
>I see myself in you and I see you in myself." On a mental level, love is
>expressed through understanding. Acknowledging a sense of relatedness, it
>says, "I relate to you in this similar way." On an emotional level, love is
>expressed through empathy. It acknowledges a relatedness of feeling. It
>says, "I relate to your feelings; I have had similar feelings." On a
>physical level, love is expressed through touch.
>   2.. Caring
>   A caring attitude acknowledges one's felt responsibility to respond to
>the needs of another. To care is to show deep interest or heartfelt concern
>for another's well-being. When we care about someone, it is a sign that we
>are affected by their well-being or lack of it. The more one cares, the
>more one is naturally motivated to fulfill or support others. Caring is
>also an acknowledgement of that which is important to a person. Caring for
>a person validates that he or she is special.
>   3.. Understanding
>   An understanding attitude validates the meaning of a statement. feeling,
>or situation. It does not presume to know all the answers already. An
>understanding attitude starts from not knowing, gathers meaning from what
>is heard, and moves toward validating what is being communicated. Through
>understanding we are able to see the world through another person's eyes.
>An understanding attitude says, "Before I judge you, I will take off my
>shoes and walk in yours for a while."
>   4.. Respect
>   A respectful attitude acknowledges another person's rights, wishes,and
>needs. It yields to another's wishes and needs, not out of fear, but
>through acknowledging their validity. Respect acknowledges the value and
>importance of who a person is, as well as their needs. Respect is the
>attitude that motivates one to truly serve another because he or she
>deserves it.
>   5.. Appreciation
>   An appreciative attitude acknowledges the value of another's efforts or
>behavior. It recognizes that the expression of another person's being or
>behavior has enriched the well-being of the appreciator. Appreciation is
>the natural reaction to being supported. Appreciation inspires us to give
>back to others with a feeling of fullness and joy. Appreciation
>acknowledges that we have benefited from the gift offered to us.
>   6.. Acceptance
>   An accepting attitude acknowledges that another's being or behavior is
>received willingly. It does not reject, but rather affirms that the other
>person is being favorably received. Indeed, acceptance is accompanied by a
>sense of gratitude for what we have received. It is not a passive,
>overlooking, or slightly disapproving attitude. To accept a person means to
>validate that they are enough for you. It does not mean that you think they
>could not improve; it indicates that you are not trying to improve them.
>Acceptance is the attitude that forgives another's mistakes.
>   7.. Trust
>   A trusting attitude acknowledges the positive qualities of another's
>character, such as honesty, integrity, reliability, justice, and sincerity.
>When trust is absent, people commonly jump to negative and wrong
>conclusions regarding a person's intent. Trust gives every offence the
>benefit of the doubt, positing that there must be some good explanation for
>why it happened. Trust grows in a relationship when each partner recognizes
>that the other never intends to hurt. To approach one's partner with trust
>is to believe that they are able and willing to support.
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