SEVEN POSITIVE ATTITUDES

>The Seven Positive Attitudes

>
>There are seven basic emotional needs or attitudes that are essential to
>creating a truly loving and emotionally supportive relationship: love,
>caring, understanding, respect, appreciation, acceptance, and trust.
>
>All of these are present to various degrees when a person feels emotionally
>supported. Positive sentiments like fulfillment, peace, happiness,
>gratitude. satisfaction, excitement, and confidence are automatically
>generated when we are able to fulfill our primary emotional needs.
>
>The Seven Positive Attitudes
>   1.. Love
>   Love is a connecting, uniting, sharing, or joining attitude. Without
>judgment or evaluation it says, "We may be different but we are also alike.
>I see myself in you and I see you in myself." On a mental level, love is
>expressed through understanding. Acknowledging a sense of relatedness, it
>says, "I relate to you in this similar way." On an emotional level, love is
>expressed through empathy. It acknowledges a relatedness of feeling. It
>says, "I relate to your feelings; I have had similar feelings." On a
>physical level, love is expressed through touch.
>   2.. Caring
>   A caring attitude acknowledges one's felt responsibility to respond to
>the needs of another. To care is to show deep interest or heartfelt concern
>for another's well-being. When we care about someone, it is a sign that we
>are affected by their well-being or lack of it. The more one cares, the
>more one is naturally motivated to fulfill or support others. Caring is
>also an acknowledgement of that which is important to a person. Caring for
>a person validates that he or she is special.
>   3.. Understanding
>   An understanding attitude validates the meaning of a statement. feeling,
>or situation. It does not presume to know all the answers already. An
>understanding attitude starts from not knowing, gathers meaning from what
>is heard, and moves toward validating what is being communicated. Through
>understanding we are able to see the world through another person's eyes.
>An understanding attitude says, "Before I judge you, I will take off my
>shoes and walk in yours for a while."
>   4.. Respect
>   A respectful attitude acknowledges another person's rights, wishes,and
>needs. It yields to another's wishes and needs, not out of fear, but
>through acknowledging their validity. Respect acknowledges the value and
>importance of who a person is, as well as their needs. Respect is the
>attitude that motivates one to truly serve another because he or she
>deserves it.
>   5.. Appreciation
>   An appreciative attitude acknowledges the value of another's efforts or
>behavior. It recognizes that the expression of another person's being or
>behavior has enriched the well-being of the appreciator. Appreciation is
>the natural reaction to being supported. Appreciation inspires us to give
>back to others with a feeling of fullness and joy. Appreciation
>acknowledges that we have benefited from the gift offered to us.
>   6.. Acceptance
>   An accepting attitude acknowledges that another's being or behavior is
>received willingly. It does not reject, but rather affirms that the other
>person is being favorably received. Indeed, acceptance is accompanied by a
>sense of gratitude for what we have received. It is not a passive,
>overlooking, or slightly disapproving attitude. To accept a person means to
>validate that they are enough for you. It does not mean that you think they
>could not improve; it indicates that you are not trying to improve them.
>Acceptance is the attitude that forgives another's mistakes.
>   7.. Trust
>   A trusting attitude acknowledges the positive qualities of another's
>character, such as honesty, integrity, reliability, justice, and sincerity.
>When trust is absent, people commonly jump to negative and wrong
>conclusions regarding a person's intent. Trust gives every offence the
>benefit of the doubt, positing that there must be some good explanation for
>why it happened. Trust grows in a relationship when each partner recognizes
>that the other never intends to hurt. To approach one's partner with trust
>is to believe that they are able and willing to support.
>
>

NO RETURN OR EXCHANGES

                                            NO RETURN or EXCHANGES


Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only
what is helpful for building other up according to their needs, that
it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)

We all have made bad choices in things we've bought.  Some items,
after they've been opened, cannot be returned, but most things do
have a return policy on them.  If you simply don't like it, have
changed your mind and want something else or if it's defective, you
can return or exchange for the desired item instead.  You made a
choice, but you're able to take it back and have a different item in return.

Too bad our words can't be returned or exchanged for something we
would have preferred to say.  We have all said things to friends,
family and others we love and care about that we regret saying.  Once
the word is out of our mouths, that's it!  No getting it back!  The
words have already either built someone up or completely torn them
apart.  We've all been the victim or have been the perpetrator and
it's no fun.  When we're angry or resentful toward someone, we have
the burn inside to share some choice words we usually are not clearly
thinking about.  There's a song by the Contemporary Christian Band,
Third Day, "Nothin' At All", which says that if you can't say
anything good then don't say anything at all.  It's so tempting to
hurl words out when they come to our minds cause we want to state how we feel.

Now, I'm not saying that there's never a time to criticize or firmly
and lovingly confront and make known a problem that someone has
caused you.  However, we are to think very carefully about our words
and ask God for the direction and wisdom in what to say.  Have you
heard the saying, "The tongue is practically weightless, yet so few
can hold it"?  This statement rings very true and we need to be
certain that the words coming from our mouths are either building
people up for the Kingdom or that they are lovingly and prayerfully
confronting and helping someone become a better follower of  Jesus Christ.

I write this devotional as someone who is not always good with
words.  I can get angry or frustrated and forget how much my words
can really pierce and forever scar another heart of my brothers and
sisters in Christ.  Our words need to always be wholesome, whether
we're praising and affirming or whether we're confronting in loving criticism.

Remember, no refunds, returns or exchanges with our words.  Once
they're out the mouth, they've done the damage or they've encouraged
and built someone up better.  Which do you prefer to do?  I pray that
you and I would both consider choice words which are beneficial and loving.

GOD CAN USE YOU

GOD CAN USE YOU The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember... Noah was a drunk Abraham was too old Isaac was a daydreamer Jacob was a liar Leah was ugly Joseph was abused Moses had a stuttering problem Gideon was afraid Samson had long hair and was a womanizer Rahab was a prostitute Jeremiah and Timothy were too young David had an affair and was a murderer Elijah was suicidal Isaiah preached naked Jonah ran from God Naomi was a widow Job went bankrupt Peter denied Christ The Disciples fell asleep while praying Martha worried about everything Mary Magdalene was... The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once Zaccheus was too small Paul was too religious Timothy had an ulcer..AND Lazarus was dead! Now! No more excuses! God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. And one more thing...Share this with a friend or two... In the Circle of God's love, God's waiting to use your full potential. 1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts. 2. Dear God, I have a problem, it's Me. 3. Growing old is inevitable .. growing UP is optional. 4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open. 5. Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted. 6. Do the math .. count your blessings. 7. Faith is the ability to not panic. 8. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging. 9. If you worry, you didn't pray .. If you pray, don't worry. 10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home everyday. 11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape. 12. The most important things in your house are the people. 13 When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot. 14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry . 15 He who dies with the most toys is still dead. Have a great day!!! The SON is shining and he can certainly use you.

                           " Don't worry about tomorrow. God is already there."

INDECENT PROPOSAL

                                 INDECENT PROPOSAL

A famous author found himself seated beside an attractive young woman in a dinner tendered in his honour. He couldn't take his eyes off that seductive-looking woman. When they were left alone, he looked at the woman straight in the eyes and said,  "Would you like to go to bed

with me if I were to give you $100,000?" The woman initially felt insulted, but after a moment, said, "I guess I would."  Silence.

Breaking the pregnant pause, the man fired his second question, "Then would you go to bed with me if I were to give you $10?"  This time the woman really got mad. She stood and said, "Just what do you think I am?"  To which the author replied coolly, "But, my dear, we have

already established what you are, I am simply negotiating for the price."

It has been said that all of us has a price. And looking at the things we assign premium value to, it just might be true.

Sometime ago I was introduced to a foreign businessman who wanted to sell his products locally. He gave the right to me, and with that resolved, the deal was on.

But a few days later, I found out the same products sold to practically all my competitors. The foreigner vehemently denied this. After I gathered all the necessary physical evidences, I flew to visit this foreigner in his country.

I gathered that this well-dressed, smooth-talking businessman was not honest in his dealings with me, so I decided to cancel my orders I set up an appointment for dinner to formalize the cancellation. A long Mercedes Benz limousine was sent to pick me up from my hotel and

be brought to an elegant Italian restaurant. The dinner was expensive but the gift he gave during the meal was even more expensive -- an antique collector's watch.

He was insistent that I accept the watch so, for fear of being poisoned to death, I accepted it. "Isn't this the price in exchange for a few signatures on the order sheets?" I thought to myself.

I can't seem to understand why because bribery is not the style of business in this country. Later on, it became clear to me that the problem is not his country; but rather, mine.  Many of our businessmen accept gifts from him; those whom he can buy with the "right" price.

Finally, after a night of prayer, I returned the watch together with the cancelled orders to this businessman with a note, "Please accept my apologies, but I cannot receive your gift, for I view it as a form of bribery. I just would like to let you know that not everyone from

our country could be brought for a price."

Exodus 23:8 says, "And you shall not take a bribe, for a bribe blinds the clear-sighted and subverts the cause of the just."

I went home that day fulfilled.  And by the way, I never enjoyed that

expensive dinner. Who cares if it's Italian?"

RIGHT ATTITUDE

                                   GET YOUR RIGHT ATTITUDE

Earlier this year, I went through a time of great frustration in my job. It was partly due to
fatigue, I think. We'd had some deaths in my family, which left me worn down. And then I went hrough a patch where nothing I did seemed right.
I proposed projects which got shot down, and when I wrote on assignment, editors scraped away at my prose until only scraps were left. That's normal, part of the process, but I felt frustrated and unappreciated.
I had to go back and relearn the right attitudes.
I need the right attitude to work hour to hour and long term.
Hour by hour, it's simple: do the work. I had to stick my rear in my chair and not get up until I had finished a major chunk of work. That meant resisting distractions from phone calls and emails and news reports.
If you don't stick to it hour to hour, your discouragement will build. But if you work hard
in the short term, you'll accomplish something. You'll find the work itself meaningful ­ and
there's a good possibility your failures will turn around. That happened to me.
Long term, I had to remember why I was working in the first place. I had to believe in my vocation all over again. In the deepest sense, I needed to know that I do the work because God wants me to do it.
Why are you in your job? Maybe you're there to fulfill a special gift. Maybe you're there to
make a living for your family. Maybe you're there because the work needs to be done for the good of society. To overcome discouragement, you need an attitude that takes the focus off your sense of frustration. You need to remember why your work is valid. You need to remember that God is behind it. Both these attitudes, long term and short term, reflect what Paul wrote to the Philippians: "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." He goes on to describe how Jesus became a humble servant, obedient even to the point of death (Phil. 2:5-8).
Hour by hour, a servant's focus is very limited. Servants listen for directions, and they do
exactly what their boss expects. In the longer term, servants know why they are working: because they have a master who has called them to service.
We are meant to be servants of God.
Listen to your Boss, he'll tell you what to do.
Believe in your vocation because you know who called you to it.

And do your work because God is behind it. 

SUCCESS

SUCCESS

Everyone I know wants to be successful and happy yet most of us do not
take the time to define and articulate what these mean to us. When
this happens we become the obstacle to our own success and happiness
and life literally feels like a wild goose chase.

The most common symptoms of being on a wild goose chase include being
so busy you don't have time to think; working harder and longer with
less satisfaction and fewer results; spending too much time 'zoning
out' at the end of the day watching TV just to relax; feeling tired
but unable to sleep; too much caffeine/alcohol/sugar/tobacco to either
stay alert or unwind; no time for family or friends; habitually
running late or behind schedule; constantly focusing on what's wrong
or not working in your life; and having predominantly negative
thoughts.

Well, I think I just described about 90% of the human race!! The
problem is not that we do these things; the problem is being so caught
up in our heads, in our busy-ness and the frustration of daily life
that we LOSE AWARENESS OF WHAT IS HAPPENING. And when we lose
awareness we become the victims of circumstance rather than the
creators of our life.

I'm not going to pretend here and tell you that life is a bed of roses
and that we should always have a positive mind-set. That's just plain
unrealistic and not even desirable. There is absolutely no point in
pretending about your life. If what's going on right now in your life
sucks, then putting on a brave face or being the courageous martyr
serves no-one and only depletes you of energy.

This may sound contrary to what a lot of motivational texts say - the
one that encourages us to 'fake it till we make it.' Well, I don't
know about the rest of you but that has never worked for me and it has
never worked with any of my clients. Awareness starts with taking a
reality check. This can often be painful but how are you ever going to
make things better if you don't know what you are fighting against?

The key to a successful battle is knowing your enemy intimately. In
this case, the enemy is the thoughts, behaviours and actions you have
taken UP UNTIL NOW that have given you the results you are now
enjoying - or not enjoying as the case may be. This is good news; in
fact it's great news! It's great news because if you understand this
one point - the point that says your past actions have produced your
current results - you are free to change your life by changing your
actions.

But before you can change your actions you need to stop what you are
doing and THINK; you need to reflect on what is important to you and
what is in your heart. Don't expect the answers to jump out at you
immediately. Most of us have spent the majority of our lives chasing
dreams that mean nothing to us or living according to someone else's
expectations that our true feelings and hearts' desire are buried
beneath layers of habitual and conditioned behaviours.

The first step is always this: take an inventory of where you are NOW.

Next, identify what works and what isn't working in your life and
decide which things you want to continue doing and which you want to
take off your plate. Be ruthless and above all, be honest with
yourself. We are talking about your life here, not someone else's.

Then, and only then are you ready to start exploring what success and
happiness might mean for you.

- From Transformational Tools

----------------------------------------------------------------------
If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to
man as it is: Infinite. - William Blake

ALTRUISM

Feeling happy?  Maybe it's because

you've made someone's day.

Altruism is a powerful happiness tool.
When we give to others, we feel better
about ourselves.  We know this, and yet
it's surprising how often we stray from
this basic wisdom.

In Dan Baker's terrific book, "What
Happy People Know:  How the New
Science of Happiness Can Change
Your Life for the Better," he
talks about happiness traps and
the tools happy folks use daily to
get those joy juices flowing in the brain.

Baker is a fan of leaving the past in
the past and focusing on the present
to help you rise above your mood,
your circumstances and your habitual
patterns.

See why I love him?  He's all about
seizing the moment in order to feel
calm, clear and creative.

In fact, he ends his book with a call for
greater attention to the present moment.
Here's the very last sentence, on page
259:  "This is happiness--this moment,
this now--this being alive."

That says it all.

And this focus on now is precisely why
altruism is such a tremendous happiness
booster--we can always make choices to
do some small thing for someone else,
and it will always elevate us from our
temporary funk.

I'm not talking about writing a fat check
to your favorite charity on December 31st
of every year--though that's still a good
thing.  Instead, we need to think of
altruism in a bigger way.  And of course,
making it fun means we're more likely to
do it.

If you're looking for a way to boost
your own happiness, look for creative
ways to make someone else's day.
You can start with simple stuff, like
letting someone with one item into
the grocery check-out line in front of you.
You might help someone with a
heavy door, a dropped book, a spilled
coffee, a flat tire.

But go deeper.  Look for ways to surprise
someone with kindness. Make it a game
you play in which everyone wins.

Baker sites research in his book about how
altruism affects the brain, but the truth is
that you already know it makes you feel
good to do nice things for others. Trust
that, and look for ways to have fun with
it.

Happy people know that altruism and
appreciation (giving love without
expecting anything in return) make
them feel confident, kind, connected,
and fulfilled. Good news: we can use
the present moment to stir up both
altruism and appreciation at the same
time.

You know what I love most about
Dan Baker's book on happiness?  It's
that this book was sent to me by my
friend Wilson, who registered it at
www.bookcrossing.com

This means that it's all ready for me
to pass it along as a surprise gift for
someone else. I will simply leave it
here in Mazatlan, and someone else
will pick it up, read it, log on to let me
and the world know that they found it,
and then leave it somewhere for someone
else to find.

I received the book (Wilson's act of
altruism) and felt so appreciative. I'll
give it to someone else, and this will
keep that cycle going, and going,
and going....

That's the kind of fun altruism I'm
talking about. It's like stealth giving.
Secret, with a smile.

Look for ways to pump joy juices
into your brain through stealth
giving.  Give secret gifts, offer
anonymous good deeds, and
grin your way through the day.


--

----------------------------------------------------------------------
If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is: Infinite. - William Blake

PROBLEMS AND GOD

                                          Five Ways God Uses Problems
                                                      

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you. Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you. People are like tea bags... if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested your faith with a problem? What do problems reveal about you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience." James 1:2-3

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you. Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something by losing it. "It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes." Psalm 119:72

4. God uses problems to PROTECT you. A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good" Genesis 50:20

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you. Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4

Here's the point: God is at work in your life - even when you don't recognize it or understand it. But it's so much easier when you surrender to his plan for your life.

DISCONTENT

                                    THE BURDEN OF DISCONTENT

      Come to me to the most populated prison in the world. The facility
has more inmates than bunks.  More prisoners than plates. More residents
than resources.
      Come to me to the world's most oppressive prison.  Just ask the
inmates; they will tell you. They are overworked and underfed. Their walls
are bare and bunks are hard.
      No prison is so populated, no prison so oppressive, and, what's more,
no prison is so permanent. Most inmates never leave. They never escape.
They never get released. They serve a life sentence in this overcrowded,
underprovisioned facility.
     The name of the prison? You'll see it over the entrance. Rainbowed
over the gate are four cast-iron letters that spell out its name:
      W-A-N-T
     The prison of want.  You've seen her prisoners.  They are "in
want."  They want something.They want something bigger. Nicer. Faster.
Thinner. They want.
     They don't want much, mind you.   They want just one thing.  One new
job. One new car. One new house. One new spouse. They don't want much. They
want just one.
     And when they have "one," they will be happy.  And they are right --
they will be happy. When they have "one," they will leave the prison.  But
then it happens.  The new car smell passes.  The new job gets old. The
neighbors buy a larger television set.  The new spouse has bad habits.  The
sizzle fizzles, and before you know it, another ex-con breaks parole and
returns to jail.
     Are you in prison?  You are if you feel better when you have more and
worse when you have less. You are if joy is one delivery away, one transfer
away, one award away, or one make-over away. If your happiness comes from
something you deposit, drive, drink, or digest, then face it -- you are in
prison, the prison of want.

COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE

* IF I COULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE

If only they knew how hard it is for me.
I'm turning 16, the world I begin to see.
My friends began to change, right before my eyes,
and now they seem to laugh, and tell all sorts of lies.
They hang around together in groups of three or four;
the language they use... it isn't gentle anymore.
The kids that seem most lonely wind up in their pack.
Somehow I feel rejected because I don't conform.
Those that step to their own beat don't seem to be the norm.
I've watched a few that just fade away, with drugs and alcohol;
and many more have given up, too many to recall.
Alcohol is an option for everyone in my school.
I've lost a friend to booze again; I will not be a fool.
And sex, it seems so open, for everyone to explore.
Three girls I know that came to school don't come here anymore.
If only I could make a difference, what could I do or say?
I would go to school and try my best each and every day.
There is one thing I'd like to do before I graduate.
I'd like to touch them one by one before it is too late. -By Tony Overman

** "FATHER, help me to develop godly relationships in my life.
Give me discernment concerning the friendships I make.
Lord, I realize that wrong friendships can be a destructive force...
Lead me to friends who love You. But help me also to be sensitive
to the needs of my friends and to encourage them in their spiritual
walk...Help us to speak the truth about areas in each other's life
that need improvement. Give me Your wisdom, Lord, to build
relationships that will last for a lifetime. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen."

MARRIAGE FRESH

                        THE 3 “Ts"  TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE FRESH

      We try to keep our marriage fresh in the following ways.

      We TALK. Shortly after we were first married, we both woke up at
about 2:00 A.M. wide awake. That night, we watched an old film on TV.
Although the movie wasn't bad, we decided that we could spend our times in
a more profitable venture--talking.  And we have. About once a month, we
have those unplanned 2:00 A.M. to 4:00 A.M. discussions. And we work hard
at talking at more normal times as well. At least four times a day we talk
on the phone and check in briefly. We think we are getting better at this
with age. The more we talk, the better we are at it.

      We THINK. One way we have maintained a closeness is that we think
about common issues. When one of us is struggling with an issue related to
work, we think about it together. When we are wrestling with an issue
about home or kids or relationships, we think together. We value each
other's minds. We don't separate roles or responsibilities in such a way
that we are out of touch with one another. We want to be partners in all we
do, and this thinking process not only makes us more effective, it also
makes us feel better.

       We TRY. Oh, how we try. We try to pray together and fail more than
we succeed. We try to get date nights each week only to find a date night
taken by a kid's ball game. We try to read the Bible together as a family
and it's a hit and miss. We try to keep in touch with friends because we
know that a network of those who care helps. When depression is only an
inch away, we try to have "picnics in the storms" instead of giving in to
discouragement. On most days, we give it our best efforts. We have tried so
much that we understand that perfection will only occur in heaven. So we
don't give up and that process makes our marriages stronger.

-- Denny and Marilyn Rydberg

LETTING GO

                      "WHY DO BEGINNINGS HAVE AN END?"
       Why do beginnings have an end?  Why do we have to meet only to lose
in the end?
       These are questions left unanswered, word left unsaid, letters left
unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed,
promises left unfulfilled.  In a relationship, one of the hardest things to
do is saying goodbye and letting go.  It's as hard as breaking a crystal
because you'll never know when you'll be able to pick up the pieces
again.  More often than not, they who go feel not the pain of parting; it
is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of
love that was meant to be a love that was.
        At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are
embarrassed to find ourselves alone.  Unfair as it may seem, but that's the
drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all nothing
is constant but change.  Everything will eventually come to its end without
us knowing when, without us even knowing why, and we must forget, not because
we want to but because we have to.
       In letting go, sorrows come not as single spy but in battalion.  It
seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every
turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every
blink of your eye and every breath you take always remind you of him.  It's
like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night.  Funny how the whole world
becomes depopulated when only one person is missing.  Just imagine there
are four billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty
without the other.
       I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails
special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time.  Time heals
wounds but it takes push on our part.  Acceptance plays a part.  Not all
wishes come true.  Not all love stories end with "happily ever after."
      We hate to suffer if it would mean happiness to others.  We have to
cry to temporarily let go of the pain. Every beginning has its end like
every dawn has its dusk.  It's something we can't control, something we
have to live up with.
      It's over, he's gone.  But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always
mean forever.
      There will always be a place and time where questions will be
answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited
in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in
solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere, somehow, someday.

    * DEAR LORD, I bring my bleeding heart before You.  I feel so empty and
alone.  And my strength ebbs to near nothing. I don't know how you'll work
in my life but I trust you.  And so I ask for Your healing presence,
Lord.  Let me pour out all my hurts and pains to you.  Others may sometimes
get tired of me but I know that you'll always listen, understand and
care.  Give me the strength to go on, to move forward each day.  By Your
grace I know I'd be able to let go of my hurts and disappointments, not in
my time but in Your time. So thank You, Lord, for Your healing
presence.  Thank You for Your love that sustains me.  And thank You for
being here now... understanding and comforting me.

MISSING CHILD

                                MISSING CHILD

     You are a prisoner, and now is the moment of escape.  You've been in
bondage your entire life, but now you have a chance at freedom.  The
hallway is dark; and the two evil guards sit in the next room taking it
easy, unaware of your approach.  You crouch low to the floor and stealthily
creep on your fingertips into the guard room.  There they are, those two
hideous figures that for so long have tortured you. You could just
scream.  But now is not the time. You've got to move.  And fast.
     The doorway to freedom is so close you can taste it.  A wall blocks
the guards view of the door. You make it past the guards and safely to the
door. You stand up against the wall, peer back at the evil ones, breath a
sigh of relief, and silently twist the knob that will unlock your
misery.  Suddenly, a voice comes from behind: "Tammy, are you going
somewhere?"
    "No, Mom and Dad, I was just trying to clean off this doorknob."
    You probably feel sometimes that your house is a prison and your
parents are the guards.  You think your parents are engaged in a conspiracy
to limit your rights and freedom to a wonderful world out there.  Let's see
how Jesus dealt with this same problem.  He had parents too.
    Jesus was twelve-- the Jewish age of manhood.  He had every right to go
His own way and do His own thing.  And He did.  He went to His Father's
house and stayed there while his parents were returning home.  After all,
He had things to do, places to go, people to see.  And, of course, He was God.
    Jesus was not disobedient when He stayed at the temple.  But when His
parents explained to Him what they expected, He submitted to their
authority and went home with them-- for eighteen more years!  He didn't
leave home until He was thirty (see Luke 3:23).  You may sometime wish you
were God, but you are not.  You may think your parents are the evil ones,
but they are not. If you have a father, or mother, or both, Jesus has set
an example for you to follow.
     Have you ever felt like your parents are just there to keep you from
having a good time?  Do you honestly think their goal is to make you
miserable?  Why do you think your parents have set rule for you?
    Jesus followed the rules His parents gave Him, even though He could
have used His power to do otherwise.  Jesus wants you to submit to your
parents just like He submitted to His parents.
    Pray right now that God will give you the desire, patience, and wisdom
to obey your parents.  If you want to be like Jesus, be obedient to your
parents.

JEALOUSY

Jealousy:                      

 " I'VE GOT TO GET RID OF IT "

Dear God,
       Please help me overcome jealousy.  It's like a sickness, it torments
me, and yet there is an awful fascination about it too. I almost crave the
pain and that's what scares me. I've got to get rid of it, God, or my life
will be ruined.
      I'm jealous of my sister, all the attention she gets, her popularity.
I'm jealous of my friends, I don't want them to like each other, only
me.  And this boy,--I'm so jealous of him I could die.
      I know that's why I lost him. I was so scared, so suspicious and
possessive I made us both miserable.  And now that he's dropped me for
another girl my heart is stabbed.  When I see them together I feel choked,
my voice shakes--and my knees. I do stupid things, I talk and laugh too
loud to call attention to myself.  Or I sulk, knowing my bitterness is
showing in my eyes.
      Don't let me be like this, Lord. I hate it in myself and know it
makes me hateful to others. It's driving away the very people I want to
love me!
     Cure me of this ugly sickness, please.  Maybe just confessing it will
help me to understand it better, be the first step toward being free.
     Is it because I don't like myself enough to think that other people
can really like me?  Is that why I'm so scared of losing them, Lord,
because I feel unworthy?  Whatever it is, help me to get over it, starting
now.  Give me a cheerful, healthy self-respect so strong I won't have to
stoop to jealousy.
     I feel better already.  I feel relived, reborn, almost radiant.
     Thank You for freeing me, I hope, forever, from jealousy.

CLOWN

    FUNNY AS A CLOWN

       A man complained to his doctor that he was suffering from such
overwhelming depression that his life was unbearable.  Finding nothing
physically wrong with him, his doctor remarked that what the man needed was
some lively amusement to divert his thoughts from himself.  "Try reading a
good book now and then," advised the doctor. But the man shook his head as
if to say, "That won't work for me!"

     "Then I'll tell you what to do. Go to the theater."  Again the man
shook his head. "Well," said the doctor, "I can think of only one other
thing that would help you and if it doesn't, there is nothing else I can
suggest. The circus has come to town. Go and see the great clown who is
drawing such crowds with his merriment. If you still suffer from depression
after hearing and watching him, I'll be surprised."

      "Ah!" said the man with a sigh, "I am that clown."

      Behind many a smiling face is an aching heart.  A loud laugh can be a
cover-up for a sad and empty life. If you are like the clown --laughing on
the outside but crying on the inside -- perhaps it is because you have
confused two important qualities in life: happiness and joy.  Happiness is
dependent on outward circumstances, such as prosperity and good health,
which may be here today and gone tomorrow.  Joy, on the other hand, is a
deep-seated contentment you can have regardless of circumstances.

      The Apostle Paul had joy.  He said, "I have learned to be content
whatever the circumstances" (Philippians 4:11).

      How could he do it?  The answer lies in his following words: "I can
do everything through him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).  He
says, "I can through Christ."  He is really saying that through Him I can
overcome the problems which would bring discontentment.

     You may be thinking, "I've heard that all my life"  Everybody tells me
Christ can solve all my problems, but how?  The first step towards finding
the answer is to admit you need help. Do you suppose that God has possibly
allowed the problems you now face for a reason?  Maybe the depression you
feel is God's giant STOP sign to get you to stop running and turn to Him.
When you have run out of ways to help yourself, you are right where God can
help you.

    "Try God!" says the little gold pin that some Christians wear. It's a
good suggestion, but God is not one possibility among many. It is only
through Christ that we find the strength that defies weariness and
solutions that drive back the darkness.  At the end of your rope, you will
find God when you search for Him and reach out to take His hand.  He makes
all the difference.

"You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart."
(Jeremiah 29:13)

FAITH

                        A DEMONSTRATION OF DEVOTION

       Does this sound like you?  You have nothing to give God but
problems. All you have to offer Him is your hurt. You want to accept His
gift of grace, but you feel unworthy of His sacrifice.
      Maybe that has kept you from coming to God. Oh, you have taken a step
or two in His direction. But then you saw the other people who follow Him.
They seemed so clean, so neat, so trim and fit in their faith. So you
hesitated.
      If that description fits, read the story of the nameless woman in
Mark 5. She, considered unclean by her culture, demonstrated her devotion
to Jesus by touching the hem of the Savior's garment. And that slight
gesture moved Jesus to heal her. She was a shame-struck, penniless outcast
who clutched onto her hunch that He could and her hope that He would.
     Isn't that what faith is all about? A conviction that He can and that
He will.  Sounds similar to the definition of faith given by the Bible:
"Without faith no one can please God. Anyone who comes to God must believe
that he is real and that he rewards those who truly want to find him"
(Hebrews 11:6).
     Not too complicated, is it? Faith is the belief that God is real and
that God is good. Faith is not a mystical experience or a midnight vision
or a voice in the forest... it is a choice to believe that the One who made
it all hasn't left it all and that He still sends light into shadows and
responds to gestures of faith.
     Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. Faith is the
belief that God will do what is right. God is always near and always
available. Just waiting for your touch. So let Him know. Demonstrate your
devotion: Write a letter...ask forgiveness...confess...feed a hungry
person...pray...teach...go.
     Do something that reveals your faith. For faith with no effort is no
faith at all. God will respond. He has never rejected a genuine gesture of
faith. God honors radical, risking faith. When arks are built, lives are
saved. When soldiers march, Jericho tumble. When staffs are raised, seas
still open. When a lunch is shared, thousands are fed. And when a garment
is touched -- whether by the hand of an anemic woman in Galilee or by the
prayers of a beggar in Bangladesh -- Jesus stops. So make your choice,
announce your faith to God, and demonstrate your devotion.

DIALOGUE WITH AN ATHEIST

 

Dialogue with Atheist

Dear Mr. Carapiet:

I really cannot thank you for this unsolicited mail from you. The views on pornography you have sent are those of your church. I do not subscribe to any church, temple, synagogues or mosques. I am a rationalist atheist.

I also think pornography for a lot of us is a healthy pastime. And a window to let off our pent up sexual frustration, a malady almost all of us are afflicted with now and then.

Please confine your preachings to your flock and think many times before venturing outside your fold.

Mihir Chakravarti

Thank you, Mr. Mihir Chakravarti, for your prompt and

straightforward answer to my text on Pornography. 

My reflection is meant for all people of all persuasions,

even atheists. I am myself a rationalist, especially that I have 

taught Metaphysics without the help of religion. In fact, Rationalism

is like a detergent cleansing religious practices of superstition that

is rooted in fear of gods and evil spirits. This awareness of fear 

and our limitedness gives rise to greed and domination. It can only

be overcome by dialogue or covenanted relationships, 

service to the neighbour without distinction of caste and creed. 

I found God through Metaphysics or the affirmation of being.

The craving of my intellect and will could not be satisfied until

I affirmed total truth and chose total good. All this was anterior 

to my Catholic Faith which only confirmed and reinforced the

investigations and conclusions of my strictly rational philosophy.

In my systematic enquiry on Jesus Christ I found him to be a

Metaphysician par excellence. "Before Abraham was, I am."

Do send my article on Pornography to your rationalist friends

and circle. It would be interesting to learn their reactions.

With every good wish,

Sincerely yours,

Mervyn Carapiet

Thank you Mr. Carapiet. Most illuminating to read your letter.

I still feel pornography is good for those jaded spirits who suffer from erotic dysfunction. I have no sense of guilt regarding the act of sex. It can be the most exhilarating and liberating of all human experiences. It can also at the same time be an utter hell and an abyss of human depravity.  Depends on surrounding circumstances and the involvement of the players involved.

Bye now Mr. Carapiet.

Mihir Chakravarti

Respected Mr. Mihir Chakravarti,

The four culprits of Delhi thought that rape could be a liberating episode

until the death penalty jerked them into realising that objectivity lay elsewhere.               A Syro Phoenician woman brought Jesus Christ round to realising that he had to heal the "dogs" (non-Jews) also and not restrict himself to the Jews.

I myself imagined I was righteous by Canon Law in resisting my niece's marriage to a Bengali Hindu (Chakrabarty, if you please). It has turned out to be a happy one, and I am the wiser.

Porn is a symptom of an erotic dysfunction that can hardly be healed by more eroticism. The search for truth deserves dialogue with all seekers of truth.

"Bye for now" you wrote. "Bye" is a particle of "Goodbye" which is short for 

"God be with you" that I heartily wish you.

Mervyn Carapiet

September 2013

HURTING OTHERS

                                  DON'T HURT OTHERS
       An unhealthy way to respond to emotions is to thoughtlessly let all
hang out, to tell anybody and everybody exactly how you feel.  The apostle
Peter is a great example of indiscriminate expression. Peter was the John
Wayne of the New Testament -- a real door slammer.  He had no problem
telling anyone what was on his mind or how he felt.  I like to refer to him
as the one-legged apostle because he always had one foot in his mouth.

      Peter's impulsive nature got him into trouble more than once. In one
setting, he was the spokesperson for God, and Jesus said to him, "Blessed
are you Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you,
but My father who is in heaven" (Matthew 16:17).  Then moments later he
spoke for Satan, and Jesus had to rebuke him: Get behind Me Satan!" (verses
22-23).

     It was Peter who missed the point on the Mount of Transfiguration by
suggesting that they build three tabernacles to honor Moses, Elijah, and
the Master.  It was Peter who impulsively whacked off the ear of Caiaphas'
servant during Jesus arrest in Gethsemane.  And it was Peter who promised
to follow Jesus anywhere, even to death, then swearing only hours later
that he never knew Him.  The fact that Peter became a leader in the New
Testament church is evidence of the powerful transformation effected by the
Holy Spirit.

     Indiscriminate expression of emotions may be somewhat healthy for you,
but it may be unhealthy for others.  "There, I'm glad I got that off my
chest," you may say after an outburst.  But in the process you just
destroyed your wife, your husband, or children. Paul admonished: "Be angry,
and yet do not sin" (Eph. 4:26). If you wish to be angry and not sin, then
be angry the way Christ was: Be angry at sin.  He turned over the tables,
not the money changers.

     Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for
the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:19,20).
-----------
PRAYER: Dear Lord, cultivate my heart and  teach me to be humble.  Grant
that I shall express myself in a gracious manner so I don't hurt others as
I seek emotional release.  Help me to be quick to apologize and seek
forgiveness for my indiscriminate expression and hurting words. Make me
Your instrument of peace and reconciliation as I acknowledge my
indiscretion and fault.

CYCLE OF LIFE

                                         THE CYCLE OF LIFE

      Each fall the first tips of leaves at the top of the sugar maple tree in my backyard catch my breath, always more brilliant than other trees in the fall. I'm grateful that someone planted it there. Instantly I'm transported to a feeling of fall and a reminder
of the continuing cycles in nature and in life.
      On a brilliant October morning I take a walk through an urban woods, grateful for the people with foresight who allow this patch of old forest to stand, though encroached on every side by housing developments, businesses, highways. Not far from a busy four-lane
highway, a huge old log is allowed to rot, supplying rich refreshment to the undisturbed ground below: ants carry out the work. A squirrel lets me get as close as three feet before
scampering to the other side of a tree. The squirrel's cheeks bulge with nuts for winter, I suppose.
      Why can we accept the rhythms of life in nature, but have more trouble with accepting the turning tables of aging? An irony hit me in reading an article by a woman who was caring for her mother with Alzheimer's. She wrote how, in the early stages of Alzheimer's, her
mother would frequently keep her up for hours every night, hunting for something she had misplaced and refusing loudly to go back to bed until she had found it. I'm sure that daughter kept her mother awake many nights, too, as an infant. But how difficult for the
situation to be reversed.  My father is diabetic and of course shouldn't eat much candy.
He watches his diet and his weight very well (with Mom constantly looking over his shoulder), but keeps a stash of M&M's for sweet cravings. This summer while we were visiting them, he gave me an extra dollar one day when I was running to the store for him: "Go across the street when you're in town, to the dollar store where they have three packs of M&M's for a dollar," he requested. At the store, the clerk assumed I was getting the candy for my children and said something about hoping the candies didn't melt in their hands. "Actually these are for my father," I replied, recognizing again how the tables had turned. (And I wanted to hug her for thinking I would have children young enough to still be begging for candy.)  As teens we plead with our parents for the keys to the car, and then we get to the place where we need to take the keys away from them. Our parents cleaned up our messes when we had toileting accidents, and then we get to the place where we have to clean up
after our parents. This should not be shameful: this should be as natural and as expected as the tree in the forest returning to mulch and then to sod. Our parents fed us as infants, and wiped our dribbled chins. We will probably get to the place where we feed our parents, and wipe their chins. Happy is she/he who can accept these cycles without undue mortification or depression.

 The writer of Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament scriptures many years ago wrote eloquently: "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted" (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-2). The Creator somehow endowed the squirrel (or did he learn it from his parents?) with the knowledge that the season of winter is coming: you better tuck away some nuggets to carry you through the long, chill days of winter. Later in Ecclesiastes we read the somewhat foreboding reminder: "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come, and the years draw near when you will say, 'I have no pleasure in them'" (Ecclesiastes 12:2). And here again I'm grateful that someone had the foresight to
warn me to treasure these fleeting days, of October and life in general. My parents have prepared me well for the later years, both by their example and their bringing me up with an appreciation for my Creator and my place in the cycle of life.

-- Another Way column by Melodie Davis.

CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY

                                "I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY..."
Mary and Martha could not understand what the Lord was doing.
Each of them had said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." And behind their words we seem to read their thoughts: "Lord, we do not understand why you waited so long to come or how you could allow the man you love so much to die. We do not
understand how you could allow such sorrow and suffering to devastate our lives, when your presence might have stopped it all.
Why didn't you come? Now it's too late because Lazarus has been dead four days." But Jesus simply had one great truth in this. He said, in essence, "You may not understand, but I'm telling you if you believe, you will see."

      Abraham could not understand why God asked him to sacrifice his son, but he trusted Him. Then He saw the Lord's glory when the son he loved so much was restored to him. Moses could not understand why God would require him to stay for forty years in the wilderness, but he also trusted Him. God called him to lead Israel from Egyptian bondage.
         Joseph could not understand his brothers’ cruelty toward him, the false testimony of a treacherous woman, or the long years of unjust imprisonment, but he trusted God and finally he saw his glory in it all. And Joseph's father, Jacob, could not understand how God's strange providence could allow Joseph to be taken from him. Yet later he saw the Lord's glory when he looked into the face of his son, who had become the governor for a great king and the person used to preserve his own life and the lives of the entire nation.
         Perhaps there is also something in your life causing you to question God. Do you find yourself saying, "I do not understand why God allowed my loved one to be taken. I do not understand why affliction has been permitted to strike me. I do not understand why the Lord has led me down these twisting paths. I do not understand why my own plans, which seemed so good, have been so disappointing. I do not understand why the blessings I so desperately need are so
long in coming."

Dear friend, you do not have to understand all God's ways of dealing with you. He does not expect you to understand them. You do not expect your children to understand everything you do---you simply want them to trust you. And someday you will see the glory of God in the things you do not understand.  --J.H.M.
  "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40)

HONOUR YOUR PARENTS

The Forgotten Commandment

 FOR CHILDREN OF ALL AGES

 Honouring your parents is a command for children of all ages. There is no exception clause in this command that exempts the adult child from responsibility.
     I can almost sense you starting to squirm in your seat.
     Let me take a few moments to tell you what honouring parents is and what isn't...
 Honouring your parents does not mean indorsing responsibility or sin.
It is not a denial of what they have done wrong as parents. It does not mean that you flatter them by "emotionally stuffing" the mistakes they have made or denying the emotional or even the physical pain they may have caused you.
    For an adult child, honouring your parents does not give them the access to manipulate you. It doesn't mean crawling back into the cradle and becoming a helpless child again.
    Honouring your parents means choosing to place great value on your relationship with them.
    Honouring your parents means taking the initiative to improve the relationship.
    Honouring your parents means obeying them until you established yourself as an adult.
    Honouring your parents means recognizing what they have done right in your life.
    Honouring your parents means recognizing the sacrifices they have made for you.
    Honouring your parents means praising them for the legacy they are passing on to you.
    Honouring your parents means seeing them through the eyes of Christ, with      understanding and compassion.
    Honouring your parents means forgiving them as Christ has forgiven you.
    It is an attitude accompanied by actions that say to your parents, "You are worthy. You have value. You are the person God sovereignly placed in my life."
    What did your parents do right as they raised you? What steps can you take to improve your relationship with your parents? Pray: ask God to empower you through the Holy Spirit to take one step toward honouring your parents.

"Honour your father and your mother." -- EXODUS 2O: 12

GOD HAS PROBLEMS

               "DO YOU THINK GOD HAS ANY PROBLEM...?"
MOSES and the children of Israel were in the desert, but what was he going to do with them?  They had to be fed, and feeding 2 or 3 million people requires a lot of food.  According to the Quartermaster General in the Army, it is reported that Moses would have to have had 1500 tons of food each day.

Do you know that to bring that much food each day, two freight trains, each at least a mile long, would be required?

Besides, they were out in the desert, so they would have to have firewood to use to cook the food. This would take 4000 tons of wood and a few more freight trains, each a mile long, just for one day.  And just think, they were forty years in transit.

And, oh yes!  They would have to have water.  If they only had enough to drink and wash a few dishes, it would take 11,000,000 gallons each day, and a freight train with tank cars, 1800 miles long, just to bring water!

Another thing, they had to cross the Red Sea at night.  Now, if they went on a narrow path, double file, the line would be 800 miles long and would require 35 days and nights to go through.  So there had to be a space in the Red Sea at least 3 miles wide so that they could walk 5000 abreast to cross over in one night.

But then, there is another problem ... each time they camped at the end of the day, a campground two-thirds the size of the State of Rhode Island was required, or a total of 750 square miles long.  Think of it!  This much space for camping.

Do you think Moses figured all this out before he left Egypt?  I think not!  You see, Moses believed in God.  God took care of these things for him.

Now, do you think God has any problem taking care of your problems?

-----------------------------------------------------------
Lord, remind me as I walk upon this sod,
That everything I have comes from God;
If the storms of life rages and tempests are wild,
You will still solve my problem, for I am your child. **
-----------------------------------------------------------