DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
Let me answer this question because the chances are that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer:
Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning,
you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.
Falling
in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In
fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous
experience. You didn't have to DO anything.
fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous
experience. You didn't have to DO anything.
That's
why it's called 'falling' in love... Because
it's happening to you.
People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my
feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened to you.
it's happening to you.
People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my
feet.' Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened to you.
Falling
in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after
a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural
cycle of every relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a
bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when
it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?'
The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?'
And
as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once
had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their
Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But
the answer to this dilemma does not lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with
someone else. You could. And temporarily you'd feel better. But you'd
be in the same situation a few years later.
Because the
key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it’s learning to
love the person you found.
Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous
experience. It'll never just happen to you. You can't 'find' lasting love. You have to ‘make’ it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labour of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes wisdom. You have to know what to do to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. There are laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and
exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship will make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can 'make' love.
Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous
experience. It'll never just happen to you. You can't 'find' lasting love. You have to ‘make’ it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labour of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes wisdom. You have to know what to do to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. There are laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and
exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship will make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can 'make' love.
Love in Marriage is indeed a decision... Not just a feeling.
'We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. Pause and ponder. Think before you act.
Be Patient. Forgive & Forget. Love One and All. An author described marriage as a community of mutual forgiveness.
‘If you judge people, you have no time to love them’, said Mother Teresa.
Never take someone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones.'
LIFE is not a problem to be solved, but a GIFT
to be enjoyed!
Have a Blessed Day!!
Have a Blessed Day!!
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