PAUL'S CONVERSION AND OURS

Paul’s Conversion and ours

            Before conversion                  Paul belonged to a devout well-to-do Jewish family living in Tarsus in present-day Turkey among other families that were grouped together in separate quarters of the town, each one with its own synagogue. He learnt the Greek language in the local school, besides speaking his mother tongue, Aramaic, and was apprenticed to his father, a tent-maker. Paul must have been 10-15 years younger than Jesus of Nazareth, and could well have arrived Jerusalem for higher studies soon after the death-resurrection of Jesus, and so never met or heard him. He had the good fortune to study under the respected teacher Gamaliel whose sense of justice and common sense prevailed upon the leaders of the Jews to leave the Apostles in peace (Acts 5, 34-50).

Strangely enough Paul was influenced by other anti-Christian currents to believe that the new way was evil and had to be destroyed. Accordingly, he was an approver witness of the stoning of Stephen (Acts 7, 58-60), going on to become a fierce exterminator of Jesus’ followers. Ruthless zeal drove him to Damascus where the Christians had taken refuge after Stephen’s martyrdom.

            His conversion           “A bright light shone about me…I fell to the ground…I became blind…” “I am Jesus the Nazarene; you are persecuting me.”  Paul, a dashing young man, so sure of himself, strong and intelligent, found himself eating dust, blind and – “I was led by the hand” - rediscovering his childhood. In a flash his learned arrogance came tumbling down to be replaced by the awareness that the Jesus whom he was persecuting was the God he thought he was zealously serving. He regained his eyesight, symbol of the spiritual insight that transformed him and his erstwhile values. From now on Jesus was the sum and substance, power and content of his life, the significance of his being, the purpose and end of his existence. “He preached everywhere that Jesus is the Son of God” (Acts 9, 20).

                                               

His endurance            However, apostleship is fraught with opposition and pain; and there are no two ways about it. Paul had to run for his life to Jerusalem, from there to his native Tarsus, until Barnabas brought him to Antioch where started the work for which the Lord had called him: to preach the Gospel to the non-Jews. For more than 25 years he soldiered on, suffering in the bargain several beatings by rods and whips, shipwrecks, and (saddest of all) betrayals by friends. Preaching everywhere the Christ he loved so well, establishing church communities, writing his letters that have come down to us, and finally landing in a vermin infested jail, the last stage before his execution by beheading. Mystic, apostle and martyr, Paul was the greatest!

        Three qualities            Three characteristics move us in a special way in the life of Paul after his conversion: a) his endurance of great suffering in fulfilling his mission – “I myself will show him how much he will have to suffer for my name” (Acts 9, 16).

                                 b) his loyalty and attachment to Christ – “to have Christ in this life and to be given a place with him in the next” (Phil 3, 8).

                                c) his great humility throughout his life – “unworthy to be called an apostle” (1 Cor 15, 9); and “I am the greatest of sinners” (! Tim 1, 5).

            Having considered Paul’s conversion and active apostolate unto martyrdom, we can embark upon contemplating our own conversion. As a traveller goes back on his steps, realising he has mistaken the way, we should stand aside and take an honest look at ourselves, at others, and the things of this world. The radical change that ensues should be like passing from death to life. This should be much more than passing from one religious practice to another, from observing a set of customs to another set. One who makes short changes in his life is only short changing his life by returning to a life of sin, even if exteriorly they attend church and take part in the activities of the Christian community. There are other people who think that conversion is over with Baptism. Baptism, indeed, remits all sin but also plants the seed of an ongoing conversion, which includes God’s empowerment to effect it.

            We are free agents, and it would be presumptuous to think that God’s grace effects our spiritual perfection without our co-operation. We might as well neglect to work the land and naively keep our mouths open, waiting for food to fall from heaven!  In the spiritual life there is no free lunch, any more than wages without work. Our walk away from sin to walk nearer to God is a lifelong labour, like the daily labour in the life of a farmer or worker.

            Conversion must enter the deepest core our being, turning it inside out so that the finished product is as gold tested in the furnace. Death will be each one’s final conversion; it need not be an event that happens to us but something that we can do by our active, happy and complete surrender to the advent of God’s purifying love.

            Sincere and lasting conversion calls for God’s indispensable help, the light and power of the Spirit. Humble prayer, besides, will help discover how gracious God is and how worthwhile is serving him loyally. As the devil is cunning and tries to show us the ‘futility’ of conversion, the advice of a priest or a friend who sincerely loves Jesus can be a great help.

            Suffering in itself is never a good thing, nor does God, loving Father as he is, want it for us. But he sent his Son to be immersed in our physical pain and moral shame, thereby transforming our brokenness into something beautiful, like he did for Jesus in his paschal mystery.

            Paul of Tarsus accepted the light that Christ shined into him. He allowed himself to be led by those God had chosen. He gave himself to prayer, and he embraced suffering and death generously. His conversion was a profound and lasting one. Like Paul’s, so shall be ours.