TEACHING VALUES TO CHILDREN

Teach Values to Your Children

Everybody is glad that Christ Church Girls’ High School has reopened after the horrific incidents of breakage and vandalism on September 12, 2013, that provoked the justifiable indignation of Archbishop Thomas D’Souza who berated the police for their total inaction. As it was observed that some guardians behaved irresponsibly, Governor N. K. Narayanan wondered: “If parents don’t  have discipline, what can you expect of children?” It is a truism that parents are the first teachers.

In a consumer-driven society that broadcasts values that do not reflect what you believe, how can fathers and mothers teach values to their kids? Here are ten ideas to help you:  

1.     Tell them your life stories and teach through your stories.
Kids love to hear stories about your childhood. Weave in some moral dilemmas and you’ve got great opportunities to teach values to them. It certainly beats lecturing the kids!

2.     Live your own life according to your values—walk the talk.
Kids learn by imitating, especially at a young age. They are very adept at seeing if what you say and what you do are matching up. Don’t give them confusing signals; follow your own values every moment.

3.     Expose them to your Christian faith. “God” and “Jesus” should come easily to your lips.
It seems especially important today to let them know that they are not alone. Providing children with a community of faith, for instance, the parish, will strengthen their values and provide parents some “leverage” or back up.

4.     Pay attention to who else might be teaching values to your kids.
Get to know your child’s teachers, coaches, relatives, etc.. Anyone who spends time with your kids may be influencing them. Know their values and beliefs as well.

5.     Ask your children questions that will stimulate dialogue about values.
Telling them what values they should have won’t always be effective, especially when your kids get older. Asking them “curious” questions will allow discussions that will eventually lead to values. “What did you think about that fight?” may be more effective than, “He shouldn’t have started that fight!”

6.     Talk to them about values in a relaxed and easy way.
Nothing will turn your kids off more than preaching values to them after they’ve messed up! Talk to them when everyone is relaxed, and do it in a light, conversational manner. They’ll be much more likely to be listening rather than tuning you out.

7.     Read them fairy tales when they are younger.
Fairy tales capture the imagination of the little ones and can easily lead to a discussion of value. Children will learn the most concerning values when they are excited about the topic.

8.     Involve your kids in art, activities, or helping others while limiting TV and video games.
Children learn values when they experience them. Allow them to experience helping others and involve them in activities that will expand their creativity.

9.     Have frequent conversations about values in your household.
This lets your kids know that it’s important and it’s not just something you talk about when they do something wrong.

10.                        Have high expectations for your kids’ value systems.
Youngsters will tend to rise to the level of expectations you have for them. Their value system will often reflect yours if the expectations are high.