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Thursday, November 27, 2014
EDITH STEIN
MEDITATION IS HEARING GOD
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by Sam Williamson
“God speaks time and again—in various ways—but nobody notices” (Job 33:14).
Most people I know have an innate desire to hear God; actually, more than a desire, an intense longing. We want to connect with the divine, to somehow see the face of God, to touch and be touched. It’s inborn, an inherent ingredient of our humanity.
Scripture says God is always speaking, but we miss it. We don’t notice his voice because we don’t recognize it. Oh, sometimes he breaks in through writing on the wall or through a speaking beast of burden, but mostly he speaks in a still, small voice.
We miss his voice because it is drowned out in the sea of other voices. The cacophony of sounds, like an orchestra tuning, obscures that still small voice. Stomachs growl their hunger, bosses bark their orders, and that insult from twenty years ago still shouts its condemnation.
How do we learn to discern God’s voice? In meditation. Christian meditation trains our ears to distinguish God’s voice—that one instrument—amidst the orchestra of others. And once we learn to recognize God’s voice, we begin to hear it “time and again, in various ways.”
To hear God’s voice, we need to learn to meditate. Unless, like Balaam, you have a talking ass.
Christian meditation
You and I are already meditation experts. We practice it all the time in everyday matters. With our first child still fresh in the womb, our mind imagines the new bedroom. We picture fresh paint, where the crib fits best, the changing table and rocker.
We envision our future life—nursing, teaching soccer, and Christmas mornings—and it changes us today. We take a truth—our wife’s bulging belly—and consider with our mind and heart. We let the thoughts of our mind mix with the meditations of our heart. And something inside is stirred.
Christian meditation is like that. Unlike eastern meditation—which empties its mind—we fill our mind with a truth, examine it, let it examine us, and in that meditative mix, God speaks.
Theophan the Recluse (a household name to be sure) said, “To [meditate] is to descend with the mind into the heart, and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever present all seeing, within you.”
How does this work in day-to-day life?
A common Christian prayer time involves scripture study and worship (sprinkled liberally with confession, thanksgiving, intercession, and a Christian book or two).
Our study tends to be information gathering (which is good) while our worship is an expression of our spirit and heart (which is also good). Sometimes the move from study to worship feels like shifting from first to fourth gear. We need to link scripture study with worship.
Meditation is that bridge.
Here is what I do. I usually read an Old Testament passage, a Gospel, and a New Testament letter. (Right now I’m reading 2 Kings, Mark, and 1 Corinthians.) As I read the passage (and slow is better than fast), I wait—I remain alert—for a quickening in my heart.
I’m not sure how else to describe it, maybe a stirring in my spirit or just a sense of God. The two on the road to Emmaus said, “Were not our hearts burning within us.” That works.
When stirring begins, I stop reading and meditate on the verses. I ask myself questions like,
What does this truth say about God? Why would God even say it?I begin by analyzing the idea presented; but after a time, I move from analyzing the text to gazing at God. I move from word-ful thinking to word-less admiration. Jordan Aumann wrote, “Contemplation signifies knowledge accompanied by delight that arouses admiration and captivates the soul” (slightly edited).What next?
What would my life look like if I believed it were true?
Why did this passage make me curious? What
stirred that curiosity?
How does my culture twist, distort, or reject this? How has culture affected me?
Why don’t I really believe this; or, to what degree do I doubt it?
How does this truth—if it’s really true—make me love God more?
What do I need to change in my thinking or actions to align myself with its truth?
It doesn’t happen the same way every day, and certainly not with the same intensity. Some days I’m stirred by verses in the first passage, and I skip the other passages. Other days I finish all the passages, I ask myself which stirred me the most, and I return to that. And gaze.
The safest—and smartest—place to learn to discern God’s voice is in scriptural meditation. But once we begin to recognize his voice, we hear it all over the place, in a movie, on a billboard, through a friend, from a stranger on a bus. And we meditate with similar questions.
But we don’t stop there. Once we hear God speak, we share it. The best way to know something is to express it; with your spouse, friend, colleague, or with that stranger on the bus. We began with our mind, we descend into our hearts, and with our mind again we articulate with words the wordless vision of God.
PRAYER, THE LANGUAGE OF HOPE
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Sunday, November 23, 2014
MOSES
MOSES
Since he was the adopted son of Pharoah's daughter, Moses could walk the lines of the Hebrew slaves. Arrogant, he could interfere in other people's affairs. So he killed an Egyptian overseer and hid the body. But he was confronted by a Hebrew shortly after and he realised the police wold soon be after him. His arrogance tumbled down, he threw his dignity to the four winds and took to his heels to the land of the Beduin. So the high prince got himself fixed as a sheep grazer, had to eat humble pie and take down his pretension. God does not work through arrogant people, keeping himself away from those who are full of themselves. Now that Moses had hit rock bottom he was ready to be God's instrument. So he led the flocks up to the mountains. The quiet hills allow for a lot of meditation or at least undisturbed thinking. The sheep dd their grazing and Moses mulled over his fortunes and present situation. He had escaped from the bondage, was happily married to one of Jethro's daughters, and was settling down to a peaceful future. His compatriots were far below groaning on the plains. But even though he was out of earshot, he somehow could not shut out the sound of their cries. Nothing he did could distract him from the echo of those cries. They were sounding from inside him; his inner being was like a sounding board. That is what the Bible writer means when he makes God say ro Moses, "The cries of your fellow countrymen reach my ears.
Moses began realising that there was a psychic dissonance, a dichotomy within himself . Here he was enjoying the peace of the hillside with little to do, happily married and sharing the wealth of his father-in-law. And there were his compatriots suffering under the lash of slave labour.
Moses realised that he a fugitive from himself. Something was burning within him, and the fire would not go out. That is the deepest meaning of the unquenchable burning bush. The burning bush was within him. He saw that he was not being honest with himself, this self that for which he should have the utmost respect. That explains the holy ground for which Moses had to remove his sandals - the holy ground of the true self. A person who runs away from what he honestly thinks is his duty is unfaithful to himself. Thus Moses realised that if he had to be true to his deepest self he had to give up his escapist way of life and go down and liberate his people. He did go down and told Pharoah, his adoptive grandfather, "Let my people go." And he did get them out eventually. He proved that his most intimate inspiration did not cheat on him, that could be true to himself and come out a winner.
Lent is a time when we can listen to what out most honest self is trying to tell us. Like Jesus, left for 40 days and nights to himself, and Moses on the quiet mountain slopes, let each one of us give him/herself some free time everyday, to move freely within ourselves and listen to what the inner honest self has to say. You may well hear complaints for the way you have been neglecting yourself, or distracting yourself from important issues of life, or care and concern for others, shutting out the call of the Spirit or the cries of those who are hurting.
Looking for God's plan? Seeking his will? Where will you find it? In Holy Scripture,,,teaching of the Church? Yes, but it can be pretty general. Take a decision in your particular circumstances, a decision that only you can take. Keeping yourself open to the Word of God, do what you sincerely think is the most HONEST. No one is infallible. Find the Holy Spirit in the depth of your heart (Vatican Council).
Moses realised that he a fugitive from himself. Something was burning within him, and the fire would not go out. That is the deepest meaning of the unquenchable burning bush. The burning bush was within him. He saw that he was not being honest with himself, this self that for which he should have the utmost respect. That explains the holy ground for which Moses had to remove his sandals - the holy ground of the true self. A person who runs away from what he honestly thinks is his duty is unfaithful to himself. Thus Moses realised that if he had to be true to his deepest self he had to give up his escapist way of life and go down and liberate his people. He did go down and told Pharoah, his adoptive grandfather, "Let my people go." And he did get them out eventually. He proved that his most intimate inspiration did not cheat on him, that could be true to himself and come out a winner.
Lent is a time when we can listen to what out most honest self is trying to tell us. Like Jesus, left for 40 days and nights to himself, and Moses on the quiet mountain slopes, let each one of us give him/herself some free time everyday, to move freely within ourselves and listen to what the inner honest self has to say. You may well hear complaints for the way you have been neglecting yourself, or distracting yourself from important issues of life, or care and concern for others, shutting out the call of the Spirit or the cries of those who are hurting.
Looking for God's plan? Seeking his will? Where will you find it? In Holy Scripture,,,teaching of the Church? Yes, but it can be pretty general. Take a decision in your particular circumstances, a decision that only you can take. Keeping yourself open to the Word of God, do what you sincerely think is the most HONEST. No one is infallible. Find the Holy Spirit in the depth of your heart (Vatican Council).
JESUS, THE NEW MOSES
Jesus: The New Moses
Jesus, the messiah of the Jewish prophecies,
is closely foreshadowed by many Old-Testament Jewish figures, but the one that
most resembles him is Moses. Moses had several roles that correspond to Jesus’:
priest, mediator, miracle worker, lawgiver, and deliverer. In
each of these roles are several instances where an act of Moses prefigures one
of Jesus.
The most obvious link between Jesus and Moses was that they both were mediators
of a covenant between God and his children. This is also seen with Adam, Noah,
Abraham and David, under different signs like the Passover, rainbow,
circumcision, and the Eucharist.
One of Moses’ most traditional roles was that of a priest. One of the
things that come to mind when thinking of Moses as a priest is the Passover.
Moses and the Israelites, in celebrating the first Passover, killed one lamb
for every household and sprinkled its blood on the doorposts of the house. This
was meant to remind the Angel of Death to “pass over” the house and spare the
firstborn inside. Jesus, on the other hand, was both the priest and the lamb
for his sacrifice. He saved not only the firstborn but the world. This
similarity in roles can be seen in the Old Testament, in Ex. 24:8:
Then Moses took the blood in the bowls and threw it on the people. He said,
“This is the blood that seals the covenant which the Lord made with you when he
gave all these commands.” Moses’ act is only a foreshadowing of
what Jesus did at the last supper in the Gospels; Mat. 26:28: “Drink
this, all of you” he said; “this is my blood, which seals God’s covenant, my
blood poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” This covenant
was brought in full when Jesus was crucified.
Even the mere fact that both Jesus and Moses performed miracles links them
together. One miracle, in particular, shows the relationship between Jesus and
Moses: the water from the rock. It prefigures the water from the side of Christ
after his crucifixion, as well as his giving of life, or “water”, to those who
followed him. 1 Cor. 10:3-4 says: All ate the same spiritual bread
and drank the same spiritual drink. They drank from the spiritual rock that
went with them; and that rock was Christ himself. This is
foreshadowed by Ex. 17:6: “Strike the rock, and water will come
out of it for the people to drink.” Moses did so in the presence of the
leaders of Israel.
Moses, like Jesus, also acted as a leader
and savior. This role can be seen in the entire book of Exodus, which
narrates the story of the Israelites’ flight from Egypt. Like Jesus,
Moses protected and led his people. After they worshipped the golden calf,
Moses asked God to spare them (Ex. 32:31-32). God did, but at a price:
Moses would not be allowed to see God’s face again afterwards (Ex. 33:7-11).
This was, for Moses, just a small price to pay to save his people. As we know
already, Jesus’ death was needed to save mankind.
There were many Old Testament figures that foreshadowed Jesus, but Moses
prefigured Him most closely. Moses even prophesied that the Messiah would be
like himself! Deut. 18:18 says: I will send them a prophet like
you from among their own people; I will tell him what to say, and he will tell
the people everything I command.
Friday, November 21, 2014
THANKFULNESS AND GRATITUDE
Thankfulness and Gratitude
Thankfulness is a prominent Bible theme. First Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Did you catch that? Give thanks in all circumstances. Thankfulness should be a way of life for us, naturally flowing from our hearts and mouths.
Digging into the Scriptures a little more deeply, we understand why we should be thankful and also how to have gratitude in different circumstances.
Psalm 136:6 says, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.” Here we have two reasons to be thankful: God’s constant goodness and His steadfast love. When we recognize the nature of our depravity and understand that, apart from God, there is only death (John 10:10; Romans 7:5), our natural response is to be grateful for the life He gives.
Psalm 30 gives praise to God for His deliverance. David writes, “I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. . . . You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever” (Psalm 30:1-12). Here David gives thanks to God following an obviously difficult circumstance. This psalm of thanksgiving not only praises God in the moment but remembers God’s past faithfulness. It is a statement of God’s character, which is so wonderful that praise is the only appropriate response.
We also have examples of being thankful in the midst of hard circumstances. Psalm 28, for example, depicts David’s distress. It is a cry to God for mercy, protection, and justice. After David cries out to God, he writes, “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” (Psalm 28:6-7). In the midst of hardship, David remembers who God is and, as a result of knowing and trusting God, gives thanks. Job had a similar attitude of praise, even in the face of death: “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised” (Job 1:21).
There are examples of believers’ thankfulness in the New Testament as well. Paul was heavily persecuted, yet he wrote, “Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him” (2 Corinthians 2:14). The writer of Hebrews says, “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe” (Hebrews 12:28). Peter gives a reason to be thankful for “grief and all kinds of trials,” saying that, through the hardships, our faith “may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6-7).
The people of God are thankful people, for they realize how much they have been given. One of the characteristics of the last days is a lack of thanksgiving, according to 2 Timothy 3:2. Wicked people will be “ungrateful.”
We should be thankful because God is worthy of our thanksgiving. It is only right to credit Him for “every good and perfect gift” He gives (James 1:17). When we are thankful, our focus moves off selfish desires and off the pain of current circumstances. Expressing thankfulness helps us remember that God is in control. Thankfulness, then, is not only appropriate; it is actually healthy and beneficial to us. It reminds us of the bigger picture, that we belong to God, and that we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3). Truly, we have an abundant life (John 10:10), and gratefulness is fitting.
Recommended Resources: Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Logos Bible Software.
Thankfulness is a prominent Bible theme. First Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Did you catch that? Give thanks in all circumstances. Thankfulness should be a way of life for us, naturally flowing from our hearts and mouths.
Digging into the Scriptures a little more deeply, we understand why we should be thankful and also how to have gratitude in different circumstances.
Psalm 136:6 says, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.” Here we have two reasons to be thankful: God’s constant goodness and His steadfast love. When we recognize the nature of our depravity and understand that, apart from God, there is only death (John 10:10; Romans 7:5), our natural response is to be grateful for the life He gives.
Psalm 30 gives praise to God for His deliverance. David writes, “I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. . . . You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever” (Psalm 30:1-12). Here David gives thanks to God following an obviously difficult circumstance. This psalm of thanksgiving not only praises God in the moment but remembers God’s past faithfulness. It is a statement of God’s character, which is so wonderful that praise is the only appropriate response.
We also have examples of being thankful in the midst of hard circumstances. Psalm 28, for example, depicts David’s distress. It is a cry to God for mercy, protection, and justice. After David cries out to God, he writes, “Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song” (Psalm 28:6-7). In the midst of hardship, David remembers who God is and, as a result of knowing and trusting God, gives thanks. Job had a similar attitude of praise, even in the face of death: “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised” (Job 1:21).
There are examples of believers’ thankfulness in the New Testament as well. Paul was heavily persecuted, yet he wrote, “Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him” (2 Corinthians 2:14). The writer of Hebrews says, “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe” (Hebrews 12:28). Peter gives a reason to be thankful for “grief and all kinds of trials,” saying that, through the hardships, our faith “may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6-7).
The people of God are thankful people, for they realize how much they have been given. One of the characteristics of the last days is a lack of thanksgiving, according to 2 Timothy 3:2. Wicked people will be “ungrateful.”
We should be thankful because God is worthy of our thanksgiving. It is only right to credit Him for “every good and perfect gift” He gives (James 1:17). When we are thankful, our focus moves off selfish desires and off the pain of current circumstances. Expressing thankfulness helps us remember that God is in control. Thankfulness, then, is not only appropriate; it is actually healthy and beneficial to us. It reminds us of the bigger picture, that we belong to God, and that we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3). Truly, we have an abundant life (John 10:10), and gratefulness is fitting.
Recommended Resources: Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Logos Bible Software.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
DID JESUS MARRY
Did Jesus Marry?
Some of Jesus’ teachings and
habits -
his prohibition of divorce, his rejection of showy fasting, his
voluntary celibacy - did not square with the beliefs and practices
of the major Jewish religious groups of his day. Had Jesus married, he would
quite comfortably have floated on the cultural mainstream. As a working
adolescent, he would easily have found a bride to his taste and earned the
acclamation of the neighbours. And Jesus was surely not unaware of the
tradition that expected every Jewish male to sire a legitimate son by the time
he was 18 years of age. As an itinerant preacher, he enjoyed himself at wedding
celebrations. Some of his parables were about the bridegroom, weddings guests,
and bridesmaids - all painted in bright positive colours. Jesus
saw sexuality and marriage as blessings given to humanity by a gracious Creator
concerned with man’s happiness. Yet it is historically certain that Jesus chose
to remain celibate, thereby going against what would have been unthinkable in
his time.
Family Circumstances
It is worth noting that the New
Testament is quite vocal about Jesus’ familial circumstances. The story of his
conception and birth brings into play a lot of family ties and lines running up
and down the family tree. Apart from his mother and her paradoxical marriage to
Joseph the craftsman (“tekton” in Greek), a lot of gospel coverage is given to
“his brothers and sisters.” Indeed, from the various statements of Mark, Luke,
John, Paul, and Acts, we learn about Mary, the mother of Jesus, about his
thought-to-be father, Joseph, about his four brothers named James, Joses, Jude,
and Simon, and about his unnamed sisters.
The second century Jewish-Christian
writer, Hegesippus, mentions Clophas, an uncle of Jesus, and Symeon, a cousin.
The gospel story also pulls in a lot of characters with family connections, who
figure in Jesus’ public ministry: Mary Magdalene, Joana, the wife of Chuza,
steward of Herod, Susanna, Mary, the mother of James the Less and Joses,
Salome, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee, and, last but not least, Martha
and Mary, the lady friends ! With so
many familial characters thrown around him, like flowers in a garland, what
prevented the gospels from popping in the name of a wife, if any? The loquacity
of the New Testament about the one raises the question regarding the silence
about the other; the answer to which is quite simply, there wasn’t any other!
If Jesus had married, the gospel writer would have hurried to throw in the last
piece and completed the family snapshot with grace and ease! But the total silence
about a wife and children of Jesus, named or unnamed, has an obvious
explanation: none existed.
Family Opposition and Loyalty
Jesus’ mother, brothers and sisters
survived into the period of his public ministry, though not without tension
between them and him - they thought him crazy (John 7, 5); or that
Jesus refused to meet with them (Mark 3, 31 – 35). If Jesus had a wife, where
was she in all this? Did she resist the family opposition, like a loyal wife,
or ditch him to go over to their side? His Resurrection, however, demolished
the family opposition; otherwise how explain that his brother, James, became a
prominent leader of the Jerusalem church, with other family members following
on? How is it that the gospel says that
some of his disciples left their wives and children to follow him, while never
speaking of that precise sacrifice in his own case? The answer, quite simply,
is that he had made an earlier and more radical sacrifice. If marriage is not
the building of community in God, it is nothing. This is the ultimate reality
of which marriage is one of the perceptible signs. Jesus Christ engaged the
heart of reality; he could do without the sign.
Friday, November 14, 2014
LEAVES FALL
While the leaves fall
As autumn takes hold, the mood, the traditions, even the weather
of the month of November often turn our thoughts to those whom we have lost.
But death need not mean the loss of meaning – love and loss are forever inextricably
linked November winds carry echoes of loss. It is the month of
All Saints,
All Souls and commemoration of the war dead when memories
that bless and burn come back to haunt us.
We sense anew the absence of the loves of our lives. But by now we
have learned that love and loss go together. If you love, you are sure to
suffer; if you do not love, you will suffer even more.
Most of us, in fact, in the fine resiliency of the human soul, are
willing to try loving, again and again, though we understand how
vulnerable that makes us to loss. But we cannot live without love
and loss. They are written into our DNA; into the very nature
of life itself.
One way or another, loss forever shadows the light of our lives.
And the more we love people and things, and the more attached we are to our
dreams and hopes, the more deeply we will feel their loss. Each of us has our
own story of loves and losses, of coping with the raw joys and hurting edges
they score into
our soul.
The impact of loss is often unpredictable, and can be utterly
poignant. It can suddenly ambush you, that aching sense of someone’s absence
brought on by a spring morning, a summer pathway, an autumn sky, an empty chair,
the first Christmas carol you must listen to alone.
Long after she had died, the sight of some scribbled comments by
my mother, tucked away in the pages of the book I was rereading,
twisted my heart in a way impossible to describe.
Loving someone wraps invisible blankets of blessing around both
people. The most beautiful and essential parts of us are entwined
with those of the other. These invisible realities are often below
consciousness. I remember a mother in my last parish telling me that she suddenly
woke up one night with the shocking
realisation that her son had just died.
This awareness came to her, I felt, not as any kind of sad news
from the outside, so to speak: it came from within, a sense of the
absence of an invisible bonding that was central to the throbbing
substance of both their lives. It was not the arrival of something new that had
come into her head; it was the death of something essential that had left her
heart.
Spiritual writer Henri Nouwen reflected on the inescapable
presence of loss. “There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments
of life. It seems that there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy; even in
the happiest times we sense a tinge of loss… But this intimate experience of
loss can point beyond the limits of our existence.”
When our hearts are broken from bitter mourning, there is little
comfort in Nouwen’s words. Our mourning is not turned into
dancing overnight. We can discern no hidden grace in grief and
loss. We are like a seed buried in the darkness, alone and waiting.
It is only when the time is right, when the heart is ready, that
loss, like a midwife, brings something very special and undreamt of into the
emptiness of our lives. The moment of a new and slowly emerging reality will
only come when we trust the possibility of such a resurrection, and open
ourselves to it.
Our life, we discover, has not lost its meaning. Something in our
soul forever senses possibility. In “Love without Frontiers”,
Preston-born poet Phoebe Hesketh wrote:
A love without frontiers that sees without
eyes, Is present in absence and never denies The unexplored
country beyond.
Loss is like a teacher. Its value lies in the space it makes for
something new to grow. “Loss makes vital clearance in the soul,” wrote John
O’Donohue. “Loss is the sister of discovery; it is vital to openness; though it
certainly brings much pain.”
Where the loss is caused by the death of a dearly loved friend or
relation, that sense of loss may now begin to open the slow door to another way
of being with that person.
Unrestricted by time and place, a new intimacy becomes possible.
Jesus was so conscious of that mysterious transition – the need to
leave us so as to possess us more intimately.
The felt sting of death lessens; the reality of the love does not.
No matter what subsequently happens, where love was once true,
it will never be replaced. Part of you will always be a presence
around the other, and from their unseen places, they will most certainly be
minding us with the purest love.
This is the message of the angel of grief.
We do not have to become stuck forever in the sands of sorrow. We
step free beyond it. There is a wider and firmer space in which
to move with the rhythm of life. It does not mean that we turn
away from the person or place that we no longer experience as we once did. Nor
does it mean that a new love replaces the old one. True love is not like that.
In “The Unfilled Gap” (Letters and Papers
from Prison),
theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote about the dynamic of space between those
who have truly loved: “Nothing can fill the gap when we are away from those we
love, and it would be wrong to try to find anything, since leaving the gap
unfilled preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that
God fills the gap. He does not fill it but keeps it empty, so that
communion with another may be kept alive even at the cost of pain.”
There is a nourishing paradox in the way another peerless
theologian, Karl Rahner, reflects on the unfilled gap. “There is no such thing
in either the world or the heart as a vacuum,” he said. “And wherever space is
really left by death, by renunciation, by parting, by apparent emptiness,
provided that the emptiness
is not filled by the world, or activity, or noise, or the deadly
grief of the world – there is God.”
Those who have loved and lost, and grown through it all, have already
tasted death and resurrection. They have followed their passion, they have
risked for love; they have been devastated by loss. And because they loved and
trusted life once, the final death will never be a fearful stranger.
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