BEING CLOSE TO CHRIST
One cannot help but notice that our Lord kept some of his followers at arm’s length (e.g., those who followed him for the loaves and fishes) while others he pulled especially close to himself. Peter, James, and John were in his inner circle.
At the Last Supper, John sat in the place of honor next to Christ (Jn. 13:23, 25). Such passages lead us to ask how one becomes like the apostle that Christ loved.
The answer to that question is certainly not by already being a saint or close to perfection. The Gospels make it clear that both John and his brother James struggled with selfish ambition and anger.
The sons of Zebedee would ask to be seated on his left and right when Christ came into the full glory of his kingdom (Mk. 10:35-37) and they wanted to call fire down on a village of Samaritans when they did not receive Christ (Lk. 9:51-56). This should be encouraging to practicing Catholics who are fighting various sins and question if God is even interested in intimacy with them or using them to advance his kingdom.
What God is looking for most of all is what Fr. Jacques Philippe calls “good faith.” Put another way, God is not only calling those to his inner circle who are already saints but also those who want to be saints.
I recently heard a practicing Catholic say, “I’m not entirely sure I’m on the straight and narrow, in comparison to the saints throughout Church history, but I want to be.” These Catholics may have their ups and downs but are pursuing a single-minded devotion to Christ exemplified by the apostles who left family, houses, businesses, and friends to follow Christ.
Like John, they are pursuing Christ as an End-in-Himself not a means-to-an-end (loaves and fishes). They get distracted now and then as John did but their modus operandi is characterized by pursuing the One Thing that is crystallized in Holy Writ:
King David only wanted one thing: “…that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple” (Ps. 27: 4b). Jesus told Martha that only one thing was needful and Mary had chosen it: to sit at his feet, listen to his voice and bask in his presence (Lk. 10:38-42).
The apostle Paul counted all things as refuse except for one thing: an intimate knowledge of Christ characterized by knowing him in the power of his resurrection, fellowship of his suffering, and identification with his death (Phil. 3:10). Like John, as practicing Catholics, we must not lose the Forest (Christ) in looking at all the individual trees (the particulars of our faith).
The truth of our mission is captured in the title of a book by Søren Kierkegaard, Purity of Heart Is to Will One Thing, and summarized in John’s final directive to the audience of his First Letter: “Little children keep yourselves from idols” (5:21). Idols become like adulterous lovers who defile our marriage bed with Christ our Bridegroom.
Someone may ask, “Is a utilitarian relationship with Christ really such a bad thing? Doesn’t he do things for us? Isn’t he our Savior, Sanctifier, Healer, Provider, etc.?”
This is an excellent question, and, yes, we no doubt receive the benefits of availing ourselves to a full sacramental life in Christ. However, this isn’t the whole picture.
The earnest, practicing Catholic is like a woman from an economically deprived background who marries a virtuous man who is well-off. She is grateful for her newfound financial security but her favorite part of the marriage is being with him.
Another important way to imitate the apostle whom Jesus loved is in his relationship to the Mother of God: “When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.”
We see this mutual affection in the recent (December 12) Feast of the Apparition of Our Lady of Guadalupe between Juan Diego and Our Lady. She met his needs for nurturing maternal care:
Listen, and let it penetrate into your heart, my dear little son, do not be troubled or weighed down with grief. Do not fear any illness or vexation, anxiety or pain. Am I not your Mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not your Fountain of Life? Are you not in the folds of my mantle? In the crossing of my arms? Is there anything else you need?
He met her needs for receiving the tender affection of a son and in aligning his life with her agenda, which was to build a shrine for her where she could “show him [Christ] … exalt him … make him manifest … give him to the people.” Diego humbly participated in her goal as Unifier in bringing the indigenous people and Spaniards together.
The Mother of God’s agenda was to bring heaven to earth. This is what the apostle John, as an elderly man, saw in his heavenly vision in the Apocalypse: “After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands” (Rev. 7:9; emphasis mine).
Few of us are called to such a spectacular or consequential mission as Diego or John, but we all are called, as St. Thérèse of Lisieux declared, to do small things with great love. This may mean, without sacrificing truth or integrity, bringing people together in small ways, whether it be at home, work, our local churches, and/or in the public square.
